It is not about men and women; it is about individuals, human dignity and self worth!
I love my country. Having said that I must admit that there are things about our culture that baffle me. Growing up in Delhi in the 90's was something that equipped the likes of me to deal with unpleasant male attitude; but there has to be a limit!
I studied in Delhi, travelled to the North Campus in University specials and Mudrika buses; have had my share of molestation and encounters with rogue auto and bus drivers. I suppose there is hardly a woman in India who hasn't. We were taught to be alert when dealing with auto drivers, bus conductors, vegetable vendors and the like.
Atleast boys and men from ordinary upper middle class families kept to themselves unless overtly encouraged. Of course this doesn't apply to middle aged relatives who given a chance would molest unsuspecting kids! And that in most cases was all hush hush! That is a completely different issue.
Whatever said and done, there was hope. We were encouraged to read story books, play, dress up and feel happy. We were always told there really is no difference in between a boy and a girl. Each has a role to play and nature has created us thus.
Things like going out to work, driving a car, using machine tools, cooking, gardening, moving around independently, deciding for oneself is nothing but regular stuff. It is foolish to think that men can do this and women cannot or should not do this.
Having come from a family where most have fancy credentials; are well read and well placed, that is the general attitude we grew up with. Of course we knew that there is something called male chauvinism, but it isn't a disease but a condition that can be treated! And that both men and women are human beings. No one is good or bad, we simply need to lookout for ourselves.
My bubble burst post my 20's. I realized that a woman's status is the society is defined by whether she is a boy's mother or a girl's mother. A woman with a boy child in our society seems to have a distinct advantage and certain special privileges. That includes the license to indulge in abusive behaviour and cheap kitchen politics, education notwithstanding! It is they who give a distorted sense of importance to boys. Who then grow up to become trouble makers.
The term trouble maker does not necessarily refer to rapists, molesters or violence mongers. It refers to the average educated man who for example starts honking as soon as he sees a female driver! It is a syndrome. I remember the positive feeling when we saw our colleagues, mothers and aunts driving Fiats and Maruti 800's.I know it doesn't make sense, but I actually used to feel as though driving gives one a sense of power. In a way I suppose it does. Driving etiquette and road conduct is about responsibility.
I had an interesting experience today. I was driving to my daughter's school; and slowed down at a narrow intersection; a speeding car driven by a young driver brushed past without breaking and hit my rear view! He actually had the audacity to stop and accuse me! I wonder whether he would have slowed down had there been a heavy vehicle driven by a local rogue, instead of a small car driven by a lady.
I also discovered that contrary to what our mother taught us, it is the women who encourage men to be and behave as they do. Mother's especially. Stupid statements such as "he is a boy and he'll do such things, why make a big deal!" are common. "I must have a son, he'll look after me when i am old and i'll teach his wife everything she needs to know for survival." For crying out loud! that girl has grown up with a value system, education and probably has had more exposure than you do! These idiotic ideas were relevant in the days of child marriage. When a 5 year old would be sent off to live with her in-laws. Most women are not worried about issues like, rape, child abuse, cleanliness and discipline; unless of course it impacts them directly!
Luckily we are living in a day and time when ladies are CEO's, Army personnel, Government Officer's, Thought leaders, Doctors, Engineers, Authors, Historians, Political Scientists and what not! If only the average middle class woman would take some initiative towards progressive thought. I am sure we can combat negative male behavior. The onus lies with us.
The truth is, it is not male chauvinism that we need to combat, but "the mindset of the average woman." It is the women who need to change. We must understand that there is no question of "equality in between men and women," they are two different types of creatures nature has created so life can go on. Mundane issues like driving, going out to work or dependence on a male working member are foolish and unimportant issues. We have to understand that self worth is very important. Men and women have to study, specialize and work together. That is when the society will progress in the true sense of the term. Metaphorically speaking "all drivers on the road should treat each other on clearly defined traffic rule parameters; and not because one is a man or a woman."
.
