The 'Male Crutch' Syndrome

During a random conversation with someone, I was promptly informed; "you don't have a brother na!!! This profound statement was in response to a comment I made about a past instance where I was deeply offended. There was a specific occasion for which me and my husband had scrimped and saved. We had organized a fancy do because it was a once in a lifetime event. When a certain set usurped the entire festivities and spoiled the function. Simply because I have no brother!!! So when I was recounting the episode the lady suddenly dropped her 'pearl of wisdom'. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry; infact I was at a loss! Especially because I happen to come from an educated and progressive family; and have a strong value system. I am used to ladies who are strong and accomplished in their own right; that includes homemakers!!!

What a tragedy! I felt sorry for the person.Somewhere I guess we need to pity those with a regressive mind. Some women it seems have practically no self confidence. Their only claim to fame is that they have a husband, father or a brother. They draw inspiration not from their own desire to do something; but from what they perceive others are doing! Everything they do is to either to entrap a man or to keep clinging on to the one in their life. They keep struggling with insecurities and complexes. My mother always used to repeat this age old adage, "do what you do, do it well." "Follow your heart, stitch, sing, dance, learn music, read, study..." Not all of us can become successful career women, though we can lead meaningful lives by pursuing hobbies that make us happy and add to accomplishment." As far as brothers and sisters are concerned they are an integral part of our lives. Husbands are soulmates or friends but they cannot be the sole reason to justify our existence. Am sure men hate cling-ons! I know my husband does!!!

And having a brother cannot possibly be a passport to host a social function; and that which I have paid for from my own pocket! Also for those who love to cling on to age old traditions, with due regard there is no such 'Shastra' that declares that if a lady doesn't have a brother, she cannot organize a social do!!! Relatives are important and play an integral part in our lives. afterall no man can live alone. We all like to interact, have fun and mix; but the responsibility for keeping boundaries also lies with us. Interestingly I did a bit of amateur research to figure out tradition. It seems the particular ceremony in question can be performed by the maternal uncle, or the child's father. Incase no one is around the Maternal or paternal grandfather/uncle can conduct the ceremony; "Only if invited to do so by the child's birth mother!!!  Tradition :)) again very "male crutch" oriented!!! The point to be noted is that the child's birth mother is the one who decides!